Breathe!
by Nickka
Summary: How far would you go to save your partner's life? Repost of my old story, edited version in one piece. EO. Suddenly darkness fell, as if the sun had gone out. It was pitch black. Olivia could feel his eyes on her. But, reaching out, Elliot was nowhere...


**This is the repost of the one of my previous stories again. I think this one was a little difficult to follow, so I've decided to post it in one piece.**

**Anyway, I think I should give you some info about why I write this story the way I write it. Well I'm afraid, lately I've been influenced by the movies of **_**David Lynch**_** (**_Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive_**) and **_**Darren Aronofsky**_** (**_The Fountain, Black Swan_**), a lot, and wanted to try a story which reflects two seperate worlds, collateral stories, symbolism and reflections and stuff… **

**So for my lovely readers who will get a little bit confused about the story, the italic parts are some kind of alternate reality; we can say a reflection, an underneat sufrace, or a dream maybe, Olivia's supliminal perception… something which is strongly tied to the reality.. You could consider this as two different stories which take part two different universes. But they are strongly tied to eachother!**

**By the way, the movies I've mentoioned above, they are really some pieces of work! I really recommend you to watch them ASAP!**

**Cheers…**

And Enjoy…

And do not forget to let me know what you think…

**xx Nickka**

* * *

**BREATHE!**

* * *

_It was a lovely morning in Manhattan. The clouds in the sky were few and far between, and the sun was shining brightly between them._

_With an absent-minded expression on her face, Olivia Benson was sitting on a bench in Central Park, staring ahead, lost in her thoughts and not at all aware of what was happening around her. She was just glaring around and by the odd look on her face you could totally say that she was nervous and did not want to be there._

_One of her fists was pressed on her chest, holding something tightly._

"_How could this happen?" she barely whispered to herself, holding back her tears._

_Suddenly a mist descended upon her, dragging everyone away. As the mist got thicker, she saw white horses galloping around, and a dark silhouette slowly approaching her. She was scared watching the horses disappear into the mist and then suddenly the mist cleared._

"_Hey," a soft call came from behind her. The moment she turned her head she recognized the dark silhouette; it was her partner. He walked over and sat beside her, with a concerned look on his face._

"_Hey," she greeted back, keeping her voice law, "were they… the horses…" she paused and sighed, "it was death, wasn't it?" she asked lifting her eyes to meet Elliot's blue ones._

_Elliot was puzzled by her question._

"_Death?" he asked, "Liv, what do you mean?"_

"_Never mind" she replied and flashed him a tired but accomplished smile._

"_You're tired." He stated quietly._

"_Yeah, you could say that."_

_She wasn't looking at him anymore, her eyes shying away while she nerously kept pressing her fist on her chest._

"_What's in your hand?" Elliot asked, looking around rather than directly at her, giving her some space not to feel inquired._

_She took her time answering,_

"_It's nothing." Out of the corner on his eye he saw her shift restless in her spot._

"_Liv, what's going on? Tell me!"_

"…"

_He was already opening his mouth to question her further, but then he shut it again. There was no point, she wouldn't tell him the truth anyway. Lost in their own thoughts, they sat in silence for a couple of moments until Elliot suddenly disappeared from the bench._

* * *

"Where's Olivia?" Elliot Stabler asked out, noticing the absence of his partner as he swiftly walked in the precinct.

"She called and said she's gonna be late this morning… again!" Fin replied walking to his desk and sitting down.

"Why is that?"

"No idea, man!"

Elliot picked up his phone and dialed her home number. There was no answer. He let it ring until her answering machine picked up, and hung up without leaving a message. He quickly dialed her cell. It rang four times before diverting to her messaging service. With rapidly swelling unease, Elliot hung up and cursed under his breath.

It was odd that she didn't call him. Something felt very wrong. Without knowing what to do next, Elliot simply sat down on his chair and waited anxiously as the seconds ticked by.

He was worried about her. She had never been late to work before, not until two weeks before. Twelve years and she had always been early. But last two weeks she had been acting different; late to work, always pissed, frequently exhausted…

Finally fourty-eight long, long minutes later Olivia Benson walked in, breathless and pale, looking like she'd survived a war zone.

"Sorry, I'm late" she spoke out and made her way to the coffee machine, poured herself an exceptionally strong cup of coffee. Her eyes wandered back to the desks and she noticed that Elliot was studying her intently. It stratled Olivia, making her act self-consciously. She cleared her throat.

"Heard anything about the Downey case?" she asked casually while joining him at their desks. Elliot merely shook his head.

"Someone's been chasing you, Liv?" he asked half serious, half joking.

"As a matter of fact, yes!" she replied, faking a smile.

"Who?"

"Death!"

"WHAT?" his eyes grew with fear.

Olivia started laughing hysterically.

"What?" he asked again, in a different tone.

"Never mind…"

"Seriously Liv, what's going on?"

"Drop it, Elliot! It's nothing," she assured him, "I was just kidding…"

Elliot tilt his head curiously, with one eyebrow up and the other quirked down. He was confused by her words, wondering if she was really joking or being completely serious. He couldn't help but feel nervous. Something felt extremely wrong but he couldn't find what…

"Elliot, the ME just called. They're ready for you.." Captain Cragen walked out of his office, breaking the silence.

"I'm on my way Cap'n!"

Elliot rose from his desk, grabbed his coat and left without saying anything to his partner.

* * *

_Olivia was alone in the park now and the mist was falling on her all over again. She got up from the bench and paced back and forth, looking around. She knew the park like the back of her hand, but right now nothing looked familiar. She could hear the wind rustling the leaves of a tree but she could not see them._

_Elliot was gone, and she had gotten away from the bench now. She didn't know what to do. She was alone. Looking at her watch, she saw that it had frozen at 3:17 pm._

_She was terrified as she felt herself falling. She closed her eyes tightly and could feel something cold. She carefully opened her eyes. It was snow. Now it had turned cold. Very cold! Feeling hot tears pricking at the back of her eyes, Olivia spun around trying to find someone. But there was no one there. The park was quite, calm and white. She was alone. And tired. Tired of fighting, and being alert at all times. She was tired of everything. Just tired. Bone tired…_

_All of a sudden, feeling extremely exhausted, she slumped to the ground. Sensing someone slowly approaching her from her behind, she struggled to her feet and stood. Not wanting to fight. Too tired to fight. She waited in position as the person came up behind her._

_In a split second she turned around and swung her fist but the person dodget to her right. She couldn't see the person clearly, so she swung again. Again and again, only to have the person dodge and roll behind her. Hours passed. She was exhausted. Everything was in slowmotion. Everything was white…_

_Olivia couldn't bring herself to keep fighting anymore. She fell forward on her hands and knees and hung her head. She could feel the person behind her, moving forward, only an arm's lenght away._

"_Please, just do whatever you wanna do to me. Just get it over with…" she whispered, feeling the person lean down toward her from behind._

_She waited for the pain to come. But it didn't._

_Instead, warmth and relief embraced her. Strong arms held her gently and comfortingly._

"_Why are we fighting, Liv?" came the soft voice._

_The voice filled her with peace and calm as its owner gently tugged her across his lap and held her in a protective embrace._

_"You don't have to fight anymore. I'm here.."_

_She was home._

"_Now, will you tell me what's in your hand?" he asked smiling with a pleading look._

_Olivia found herself and Elliot sitting on the bench again. And suddenly the mist was gone. She was holding her left fist to her chest in a sad manner. Hesitating for a second, she took a deep breath and brought her hand down to his knee._

_At first she seemed reluctant to let him see, but when he gently took her hand and opened it, she didn't pull it away. There was a little black bird with broken wings, helplessly lying in her hand._

"_She's sick, Elliot." Olivia cried softly, "she won't fly."_

"_Let me" he said, reaching and carefully and gently took the little bird in his hands._

_Miraculously, the bird opened its eyes though with difficulty. Unmistakable signs of life began to show in the bird. It started breathing very faintly._

"_She needs to fly, Olivia." Elliot smiled._

"_But I don't want to let her go!"_

"_You know, sometimes…" Elliot started._

_The sky became darker and not that far away a thunder was heard._

"…_sometimes you just need to let it go, and suddenly when you do you might find that things are better than you thought they were. And sometimes, just for your loved ones, you need to let them go too, Liv…"_

_He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head._

* * *

Olivia was struggling with one of her drawers when her partner came back.

"I'm sick of this shit!" she yelled, searching frantically through the contents of the middle drawer of her desk.

"What are you looking for?" Elliot asked.

"I have to find it," she muttered more to herself than her partner. She pulled the drawer with such force that she stumbled backwards into the office chair behind her.

"Liv, calm down! Are you okay?" he chuckled, puttinh his hands on her shoulders in order to calm her down. But she nearly twisted his arm off, and continued screaming.

"Let go of me, I'm sick of you, Elliot! I HATE YOU!"

She stood up and started to walk away but then quite suddenly she found herself really struggling to walk without getting totally out of breath. With an unbearable pain in her chest, she grabbed the chair and dropped into it, her eyes wide and mouth open.

"God, Liv! Are you alright?" Elliot asked with a concerned look on his face.

Tears stinging her eyes, Olivia glared at him angrily.

"Oh, now you notice me! After all of that you finally notice me!" she yelled, banging her hand on the desk.

Elliot was puzzled. Suddenly he heard the thunder and a lightning flash that could come off as a strobe light.

"What's going on?"

Olivia was devastated. She had messed up everything in her life. Her friends were turning against her. She had no idea what was going on in her life. She knew something was wrong. She remembered feeling so sick like she could throw up and laying on her cold hard kitchen floor crying and yelling and screaming. She was exhausted. She was dizzy all the time. She was old. The life was just horrible.

She needed to get out. Right then!

So she decided to leave. Without saying anything, she simply turned back on her heels, grabbed her coat and purse and left.

Elliot was left behind with a confused face.

Olivia's walk home was uncomfortable. The shortness of breath was getting worse. She still had a pain in her chest and sensation down her arms. She was a couple of blocks away from the hospital… So she decided…

…

The next morning, Elliot Stabler walked in the precinct with two cups of coffee in his hands, his eyes automatically searching the room for one person.

"Can I have one of them?" Munch asked, pointing one of the coffee cups.

"It's for Liv." Elliot answered.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I'm asking."

"Why? She called in sick again?"

Yes. She had called in sick again. She was not coming to work again. She was sick. Again. And Elliot was pissed. Again!

Elliot nodded _to _himself and cocked his head up with a completely different expression on his face,

"And today I'm gonna end this!" he said to himself as he hurriedly walked out of the squadroom, placing the coffee cups on his desk as passing. This time, he was determined to talk to her otherwise he would have many more sleepless nights.

…

"Olivia, open up please!" he begged knocking on her door.

She knew he wasn't going to stop. She walked to the door and opened it placing one of her hand on the frame, not fully letting him in.

"What?" she said shrugging her shoulder.

"Just wanted to talk" he replied.

"Talk what?" she said, being a jerk.

"Liv, can I come in?" he stepped inside taking her hand gently off the door.

Elliot shut the door and walked with Olivia to the couch, sitting on the couch with her, he looked at his sad face.

"Liv, please tell me, what's going on?" he demanded.

"…"

"Liv, do you really expect me to believe that you hate me?" he asked in disbelief.

"No," she admitted dejectedly.

"Then tell me what's going on!" he demanded.

She opened her mouth to speak but looking up at him, her breath hitched in her throat.

"I'm scared," she said hoarsely.

"Of what?"

Olivia hugged her knees with one arm and pushing a hand through her hair.

"Elliot, I'm sorry" she spoke barely above a whisper as she turned her head over her shoulder to look at him. "I'm just not ready to tell you yet."

"It's okay," he assured her quietly. "Do you think you'll ever tell me?" he asked carefully with concern in his eyes.

"Yes," she nodded certainly. "Eventually. I'll get around to it."

* * *

"_But I don't want to let you go!"_

"_You don't have to." Elliot smiled._

_A few minutes passed quietly, no talking or anything. It somehow made Elliot feel uncomfortable._

"_I'm sleepy.." Olivia murmured under her breath, struggling to keep her eyes open._

"_Sleep then." Elliot said simply. He wrapped his arm lovingly around her shoulder and kissed the crown of her head._

"_No," she protested, carefully listening to his hearthbeats, "you'll be gone when I wake up!"_

_Elliot took her hand gently, "Liv, I will be here when you wake up."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise!"_

_Olivia squeezed his hand as tightly as she could,_

"_But you'll get… bored." She whispered, nodding off and her eyes closing._

"_I never get bored when I'm around you…"_

_Without loosening her grip on his hand, she fell asleep moments later, more blissful than she had ever been before._

_Hours later the sound of thunder and the crash of lightning close by woke Elliot up. He found himself sitting on the bench, alone and his heart began to pound wildly. Olivia wasn't there. He panicked. The thought of her gone frightened him. Why had she left without waking him? He stood up and went to look for her. The thunder and lightning seemed to be getting closer and closer, threatening them with death._

"_What time is it?" the voice he heard behind him was Olivia's._

"_Liv?" he turned around swiftly to find her sitting on the bench, smiling sleepily with drooping eyelids._

"_What time is it?" she asked again. Elliot couldn't help but smile to the sound of her voice. He looked at his watch._

"_It's 3:17" he said, walking to sit next to her. Olivia's face was puzzled._

"_3:17?" she asked in bewilderment, "No, it can't be 3:17!"_

"_It IS 3:17, Liv," Elliot replied, checking his watch again, "what's wrong with that?"_

"_Nothing," she exhaled, "..nothing's wrong."_

"_Liv, please… please tell me what's going on? I know something's bothering you. Please… I hate seing you sad, I want to know!"_

_She looked over at him and sadly smiled then looked away._

"_Please?" he demanded._

_Olivia shook her head as if trying to shake the pain away. Her agony was making Elliot physically sick. She buried her head into his shoulder and spoke:_

"_El, please remember that I love you, okay?"_

_Elliot was frozen in shock. Three little words had knocked the wind out of him. He couldn't help but let a tiny grief-stricken smile cross his face. But the way she spoke make him shiver on the other hand._

"_Liv, I, I love you too…" he managed to get the words out, "but… what did you…"_

"_Please don't forget that, El." She cut him off._

"_No, Liv," he replied, "YOU remember that I love you… more than you'll ever know!"_

_With that Elliot leaned in and kissed her softly._

"_Yeah, I know" she whispered into his mouth, running her hand up and down his chest, feeling his pounding heart._

_He kissed her again, pulling her close to him, enjoying the feeling of her body against his. Olivia put her arms around his neck and kissed him back._

_When he pulled back a little they were smiling shyly._

"_Just hold me for a little while, will you?" she asked softly, putting her head on his chest._

_Elliot smiled and gently wrapped his arms around her one more time…_

* * *

For a few weeks now Olivia had been restricted to desk duty due to her asthenia. At first she hated it but then, since the lightheadedness and shortness of breath had been getting worse, she found it quiet acceptable. Everyone was worried sick about her, but somehow she had managed to assure them that everything was alright with her health and that she would be okay very soon.

It was a quiet day in the squad room. Fin and Elliot were out interviewing witnesses. Munch was going over his case files silently. Olivia was on her desk, desperately trying to catch up on paperwork. She had a doctors appointment that day and wanted to leave the squadroom before Elliot came back.

She snorted as she gathered her files, locked them in her desk drawer and then stood to go, but suddenly her knees buckled and she turned a sickly shade of white. She grabbed her chair.

"Are you alright?" Munch asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied, "Look Munch, I have something to do. Tell everyone I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Without waiting for his reply, Olivia walked out.

A few hours later Elliot was knocking on her door, but when there was no reponse he used his own key to open the door and found Olivia asleep on her couch, her chest rising slowly, curled up and shivering in cold.

Elliot went to the couch, carried her to her bedroom, covered her with a blanked and tried to go back to the living room. But her hand caught his wrist.

"El?" her voice was thick from sleep.

"Hey.." Elliot smiled.

"Hey.. What time is it?"

"It's almost midnight. Are you okay? Munch said you were…"

"I'm fine, El." Olivia smiled.

"Okay," he gave up, "Why don't you go back to sleep, and I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Where are you goin, El, don't leave!" she panicked.

"Hey hey, I'm not leaving. I'll be sleeping on the couch!"

"Alright" she replied smiling and then she laid down and closed her eyes.

Elliot walked to the living room and laid on the couch, until a couple of hours later when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned on the couch to find his partner staring at him with teary eyes. He sat up immadiately.

"Liv, what's wrong?" he gasped.

"Nothing.. Elliot. I'm sorry for waking you but I needed to talk."

"What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

Olivia checked her wristwatch, "It's 3:17 in the morning."

"Okay," Elliot sat propery and made room for Olivia to join him, "Tell me." he demanded.

"Elliot," she started, her face turning red. She sighed deeply, "I've been thinking about how important you are to me or how much I treasured our friendship, how much I love being with you. I've never told you this, but, I need you Elliot… a lot more now…"

"Liv…"

"No, let me… please?" she whispered, "I need you to stay beside me, hold me and love me the way I love you. Elliot, you know I love you, don't you?"

"I do, Liv, and I love you too" he spoke, wiping her tears with his finger, "I'm not going anywhere. I've got you, okay?" he gently placed his strong arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Liv, please… please tell me what's going on? I know something's bothering you. Please… I hate seing you sad, I want to know!"

She looked over at him and sadly smiled then looked away.

"Please?" he demanded.

Olivia shook her head as if trying to shake the pain away. Her agony was making Elliot physically sick. She buried her head into his shoulder and spoke:

"Come to bed with me!"

"What?" Elliot asked in bewilderment.

"Make love to me, please?" she looked at him, her eyes begging for his touch.

She leaned in and her lips gently touched his.

"But be gentle, I'm exhausted…"

Smiling to this new form of intimacy, Elliot lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

The next morning Elliot woke up with her still sleeping in his arms, her warm face against his and her breath in his face. He kissed her forehead and smiled. Slowly he lifted their intertwined hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles too. He got up very slowly not to wake her and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and change his clothes. On his way out of the bathroom, Elliot caught a glimpse of something near the bathroom sink. He took a closer look and there he saw a bottle of pills with a label on it. He frowned and grabbed the bottle, studying the label. _Propranolol... Olivia Benson… Dr. E. Jenner_… He was confused. Taking the prescription bottle with him, he walked back to the bedroom.

"Good morning!" Olivia smiled, she was still in bed, stretching her body.

"What are these pills for?" he asked, his eyes were wild, and he could hear his own heartbeat.

Olivia froze, not knowing how to explain the pills.

"I don't take them anymore." she spoke barely.

"What do you mean you don't take them, Liv? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?"

"Elliot, I.. I…"

And right then, luckily for her, Elliot's cellphone rang, saving her from having to answer. Elliot walked to the coffee table and grabbed his phone.

"Stabler?… Yes captain?… Where?… Shooting?… Was Fin there?… I'm on my way!…"

Quickly he took his clothes and got dressed.

"Fin got into a shooting. He needs back-up. I'll be back. And we'll talk about this, okay?"

He spoke gently, kissing her forehead and ran out of the apartment, leaving a scared and panthing Olivia behind…

* * *

_As Olivia slightly shifted in his arms, Elliot gently pulled his arms back to his sides, examining her face with a concerned look on his face. He needed to look down at his hand when he felt something wet and saw blood. On his hand, was her blood. He looked at her with wide eyes._

_"Oh my god, Olivia, you're bleeding!"_

_Her shirt was coverend in blood. But she was looking at his shirt with a shocked impression on her face.._

_"Elliot! You're bleeding too!_

* * *

Olivia couldn't sit down and wait when her friends and the love of her life threw themselves in the middle of a hostage situation. She needed to be there. Grabbing her gun and her coat she headed outside following Elliot without him knowing. When she arrived to the scene she was told to wait outside but instinctively she knew that Elliot needed her with him. Deliberately she walked inside the storehouse, down the stairs with her gun in hand. She stopped at the end of the stairs and saw Elliot standing in her way.

"What happened?" Olivia asked, panthing.

"Liv, what are you doing here?"

Suddenly the hell broke loose and the bullets were flying everywhere. Elliot turned around and ran back as Olivia jumped to the floor and got herself under the staircase. She was out of breath and her heart was pounding in her chest.

While hit by bullets, one of the suspects fell onto the floor in a puddle of blood. Then she saw the other man, pointing his gun to Elliot's back. She couldn't get a clear shot without risking her partner's life. She panicked, her hands were shaking out of control. Her head was spinning. Elliot didn't noticed the gun aiming at him. Olivia needed to do something, so she screamed. Screamed to allert everyone. But it was too late. _BANG! BANG!_ Two uniforms came into the room, running. _BANG!_ The man fired his gun and the last thing she saw was her partner's limp form falling down to the floor. Olivia was gasping for breath. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain inside of her; the room turned upside down. Her legs buckled beneath her. Grabbing her chest she fell to the floor, spinning, firing reflexively.._BANG!_ And everything went black…

* * *

_Suddenly darkness fell, as if the sun had gone out. It was pitch black. Olivia could feel his eyes on her. But, reaching out, Elliot was nowhere._

"_El, what's happening?" she asked, scared._

_There was no answer._

"_Elliot.. Elliot where are you?"_

"_Elliot…"_

* * *

Having been informed by his detectives, Captain Donald Cragen was waiting impatiently in the waiting room of Bellevue Hospital. He looked up, eyes widening as the two gurneys were rushed side to side in the Emergency Room.

"How... How are they?" he demanded of the first medic, rushing along with the gurneys.

"One bullet to the back. He's losing blood, sir, we need to go!" the medic said and Cragen nodded.

He stopped as the medics moved him down the long corridor.

"What about her?" he asked breathless, staring at the other gurney which was now carrying an unsconscious Olivia with an oxygen mask on her face, struggling to breathe.

It was all in slow motion as he kept watching the nurses around her. Finally one of them approached the desk and said:

"Get Doctor Jenner here ASAP. It's Olivia, his patient. She has a heart condition and this doesn't look good!"

* * *

"_Where are you?"_

"_I'm here, Liv!" his voice was coming closer._

"_I can't see you!"_

"…"

"_Elliot? El?"_

"_Liv, I'm right here!"_

"_Where?" Her voice cracked, the tears falling silently down her cheek. "I can't see you.."_

"_You don't have to see me!" he sounded weak._

"_No, Elliot! I do need… I need to…" she closed her eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted, "I… El…"_

_Something was wrong. She couldn't hold herself up anymore. Completely frightened, she collapsed onto the ground in the middle of darkness._

"_I can't… breathe…"_

* * *

Elliot woke slowly, keeping his eyes closed, feeling extremely disoriented. There was a severe pain in his back. He breathed deeply; the pain hit his ribs. Opening his eyes, the first thing that registered was the unfamiliar ceiling. There was an antiseptic smell in the air. He was in a hospital room, turning his head he saw that he was hooked to a machine.

What was wrong with him? What happened? He was losing consciousness. Where was Olivia? What happened to her? He remebered the pills he had found in her bathroom. He knew something was wrong with her. He needed to see her again. He needed to pull through. He needed to survive. But the pain was unbearable. He closed his eyes again, forcing himself to push past the heavy mist in his head.

He heard the hospital room door open slowly, but couldn't turn to see who it was. He was unable to move. He was lost.

Donald Cragen slowly walked into the hospital room, scared of what he'd see inside. Elliot was lying in his bed, eyes closed, his chest rising anf falling. Cragen was worried.

At that moment, two doctors walked in the room, drawing his attention.

"Captain Cragen, I'm doctor Kramer" one of them spoke.

"How is he, doc?" Cragen asked, nervous.

"The bullet hit his liver and his injuries were critical, but he's stable now. He sould make a physical recovery in few days, if he gets through tonight."

"Okay…"

"Actually," doctor Kramer continued, introducing the other doctor who was standing beside him, "doctor Jenner here wants to talk to you about detective Benson's condition."

"Yeah?" Cragen tensed.

"Well, Olivia has been my patient for a few months now." Doctor Jenner started.

"What?" Cragen was surprised.

"She came in three months ago complaning about exhaustion and chest pain. We ran a couple of tests and she got diagnosed with late onset HCM."

"What's that?"

"Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, it's a heart muscle disease."

Elliot was lying right there, listening, panicking…

"She has known for months? Why didn't she tell anything? How's she? Is it… Is it bad? Please don't tell me she's dying.." Cragen backed and sat down on the chair as he saw doctor Jenner's nervous expression.

"Medical therapy is generally successful in the majority of patients. In the beginning she was prescribed beta-blockers but we found out very quickly that she couldn't tolerate them. You see, severe symptoms are actually more difficult to treat. We tried alternative treatments but her condition was refractory to all other forms of treatment."

"What are you saying, doc?" Cragen asked, hoping desperately everything was just a bad dream.

"Well," doctor Jenner continued, "HCM is a severe myocardial disease leading to heart failure, Captain. She's at risk for sudden cardiac death. I'm very sorry to say this but, cardiac transplantation is her only option right now."

"Oh my god" was all Cragen could say.

_Oh my god_, was all Elliot could think. He was exhausted, yet he was alive. What if she wasn't alive? He needed to live for her, live _with _her. But he was hurt, it burned inside. He longed to be with her; wanted to be loved by her. But he had to decide. He had to decide. Without her he felt like half of himself was missing. He was lost without her.

Live for her… or die for her… He needed to decide.

And he decided…

* * *

"_I'm glad the sun is rising again." Elliot smiled. He smoothed the hair from Olivia's face and tenderly kissed her forehead, tightening his hold around her, bringing her closer to his chest as they were settled on the very bench._

"_I'm glad you found me in darkness" she whispered, looking up at him._

_A smile spread across his face._

"_You don't have to worry about anything, Liv. I'll be here, watching you.."_

"_I'm not worried," she smiled, "not worried at all, as long as you're with me." She leaned up and kissed his lips softly, "I love you!"_

_Tenderly Elliot put his arms on her shoulders and looked at her brown eyes. He moved his hand and placed it on the left side on her chest, directly over her heart._

"_I love you too, Liv. I'll always be here."_

_He shifted and put his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist._

"_I'm sleepy" he stated, "what time is it?"_

"_It's 3:17" Olivia answered._

"_Is it still 3:17?"_

"_Yeah, seems like the time has stopped." she said chuckling._

"_Yeah…" he replied._

_Olivia curled her arm around his shoulder. His face was inches away from hers. And then, suddenly the reality hit her!_

"_Elliot! You're not breathing!" she gasped in panic._

"_Yeah," he smiled, his head remaining calmly on her shoulder, he put his left hand on her chest again, as if trying to make sure she was breathing, "yeah, but you are!"_

_His body began to tremble, her arms around him tightened. Her tears began to fall down her cheeks._

"_Oh god, Elliot. No! El, please no!"_

"_Shhh.." he whispered, "it's alright. I'll never leave you, Liv. I'll always be in your heart."_

"_But I need you in my arms!" she cried, "El, I can't make it without you!"_

"_Yes you can. I know you can, Liv.."_

"_NO!"_

_Elliot pulled her tearful face to his and kissed her softly._

"_Shhh.. I love you, Olivia. You're gonna be alright. As long as you… breathe..!"_

* * *

Doctor Jenner rushed in Elliot Stabler's room only to find doctor Kramer pulling the sheet up over Elliot's face, and sighing.

"Alright, let's call it," he spoke, "the time of death 3:17 pm…"

"What the hell happened?" doctor Jenner asked in shock.

Doctor Kramer lifted his sad eyes and smiled,

"We just found a donor, doctor!"

* * *

**THE END**

**Saying of the day: "_Reviews_ make a writer a better one!"**


End file.
